In partnership with
My Pilates instructor said something during class this morning that has been echoing in my mind ever since: "You are in control of your own resistance."
Granted, she was talking about engaging your transverse abdominal muscles while doing a certain exercise.
But the phrase kept reverberating in my mind.
You are in control of your own resistance.
Questions emerged as I continued the movements on my reformer...
What am I resisting that is within my control?
How is that resistance holding me back from being my fully expressed and expansive self?
Where can I invite that kind of resistance to soften?
Where has my resistance been a necessary, protective force? How has it kept me safe? Where is it a good thing?
What resistance am I ready to release now?
For me, I've had a lot of resistance around sharing my voice these last few years.
As women in the world, especially in our careers, taking up space can be met with all kinds of reactions from others. We're either too much or not enough. In many cases, we shrink ourselves to make others feel comfortable.
Our shrinking is rewarded. It keeps us safe, palatable, and predictable.
But what happens when we allow ourselves to step into our authentic voices, into our purpose, into our power?
Our authentic expression allows us to magnetize the people, places, and opportunities that are in resonance with who we truly are and who we are meant to become.
A few weeks ago, I was on retreat in England at Broughton Sanctuary & Avalon Wellbeing hosted by one of my favorite authors of all time, Sharon Blackie. There were 60 women across all age groups.
As the days passed by, I watched as each woman stepped deeper and deeper into her most authentic expression. Being held, celebrated, and cherished by the group.
On the 6th day, in our closing ceremony, we passed a mic around the room and shared whatever was coming up for us.
When the mic got to me, I felt that familiar resistance. That nervous churning in my belly that leads to a contraction in my throat.
A song I had written a number of years prior called "Remembrance" wanted to be shared. It wanted to move through me.
I've been singing since I was about 5 years old. I trained classically as an opera singer through high school and college. I'm a lifelong choir kid. I’ve sang on many stages and spoken on even more.
Yet something around sharing my own songs, my own creative offerings, makes me contract. My writing, especially my songwriting, feels like baring too much of my soul. It’s the fastest way to feel like I’m naked in public.
I would have typically just let the resistance win out and opted to not take up that kind of space. It's too vulnerable. Pass.
But this time, I took a deep breath and sang anyway. I sang through the resistance and allowed it to release. To alchemize into expression.
I was met with all kinds of love and gratitude from this wonderful group of women.
Not only that — I was received. Fully. As me in my most expansive, most authentic expression.
Consider this an invitation to reflect on where resistance shows up for you — and where alchemizing that resistance will serve your highest good.
Happy Women's History month 💖
Shout out to Club Pilates kicking my booty (I’m a 2027 bride!!!) and inspiring this writing flow in the process!
PSA: Clicking on the ads in this newsletter help me to earn a bit from my writing!
If you could open the link below, I’d greatly appreciate it! XOXO
The gorgeous Broughton Hall at Broughton Sanctuary & Avalon Wellbeing — a magical estate that has been in the same family for 33 generations in Skipton, Yorkshire, England, UK
Tending to fire at our retreat — one of my favorite things to do.
An opening circle by candlelight — held in the loving arms of community and mama Earth.
Smart starts here.
You don't have to read everything — just the right thing. 1440's daily newsletter distills the day's biggest stories from 100+ sources into one quick, 5-minute read. It's the fastest way to stay sharp, sound informed, and actually understand what's happening in the world. Join 4.5 million readers who start their day the smart way.
